Started the day pretty well. Had a short call with Carmen for 30 mins. Have been deeply thinking what are the trigger points that want me to fiddle for a ciggerate. Definitely its “cha and ta”.
8:45PM till now I have already smoked 7+2. Lets see what the final tally comes out to be.
Honestly speaking, I am still giving in to temptation. Not much self control and restraining happening mentally. It feels as if the mind has lost the capability for self restraint. Not even trying hard enough. Just making mental excuses.
That I am writing over here, more so to pacify myself, more than anything else.
At the background I am hearing pings from a teams channel between Kand the content team. There’s some problem that has come up, which resulted in Founders involvement. That is never a good thing. That’s why right now everyone is trying to collect evidence and be prepared for a meeting that is about to take place in a couple of hours.
Just imagine, Friday evening for the India folks who work India time, their evenings, plans all gone out of the window. I guess that talks a lot about culture. Not having the respect for others who have officially wrapped up their week, since they work India time.
But I do not know the exact working hours of the people in the content team who are figuring things out in that teams channel.
Coming to conclusions before knowing the whole story is a practice we all end up doing once or twice in a week. If that information is known, may be then I should be able to understand better about the culture.
As I stop the urge for a smoke, I need to device various mechanisms so that I do not pick up another smoke. This time around I really want to get out of that procrastination loop and leave smoking for good.
9PM – going to India CS Bi-Weekly Touchpoint.
10:03PM – After finishing the India CS touchpoint connect, where K had not joined, I quickly grabbed 4 paneer rolls. I was about to start smoking a ciggerate. But I took a pause and decided to write over here first. If I am going to smoke a cigarette I would need to write it over here first, then I can smoke. Even smoke up.
With that in mind would I end up smoking a ciggerrate right now?
The next entry on the page should provide a better picture.
11:27PM – I did not end up smoking then, but after having dinner I am having a smoke.
3:04AM – 10+3.